Red, Captain Merlin's Pants and the Gov'nor'
by Miss Fabulously Feisty
Summary: “Oh. Dear. Merlin's. Pants! My EYES THEY BURN! This is worse than that time I caught Harry and Luna at it on their kitchen sink...and you two wonder why I bring my own food when we have dinner at their house!” DM/HG & BZ/GW


**Disclaimer:**  
Miss Fabulously Feisty: "What was that Mrs Rowling? You'd like to give me the rights to the Harry Potter franchise? Really are you sure? You are? Yes! This is the most wonderfu-"  
Teacher: "**MISS FEISTY!!** How many times do I have to tell you **NOT** to sleep in my class?"  
Miss Fabulously Feisty: "Sorry sir...stupid dream!!"

"Hermione?"

"..."

"...Hermioneee-ee-eeee...?"

"..."

"...Hmmm...what does Draco call you I wonder...?"

"..."

"Honey bun?"

"..."

"Sugar eye?"

"**GINNY!!**"

"Hermione you're awake...why are you looking at me like that?...Mione?"

"...**GRRRGGHH!!!**"

"Oh bullocks!!! **AHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

"**GINERVA ZABINI, GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE SO I CAN STICK MY FOO-**"

"Mrs Malfoy?"

"...Who are you?"

"Oh...sorry ma'am, I'm William, William Belour."

"Oh right! Draco's new Assistant...well William...do you mind waiting here for a second...I have a red headed woman to kill!!...Be right back, make yourself at home!"

"Right, thank you ma'a..."

"Ginervaaa-aa-aaaa?"

"...Ginerva dear come out, come out where ever you are!!"

"...eep..."

"..._hehe...I have you now."_

"..."

"**GOTCHA!!**"

"**I SURRENDER!!**"

"They always do...they always do."

"Hermione?"

"...hehehehehe..."

"Hermione?"

"...chain...dungeon...use...whip..."

"**OH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME PLEASE I'M YOUR BEST GIRL FRIEND**, well one of your bests...I mean there's Luna, Pansy, Hannah, Daphne, Angelina...and I'm ranting I know but plea-"

"Oh for heavens sake Ginny, I wasn't going to kill you!!"

"Oh thank goodness for that...I'm to hungry to die!...Sooo...well...if you weren't going to kill me...then why were you running after me?"

"Oh that, I just needed to get the sleep out of my system."

"You were just...you mean...I ran...You mean to tell me that while I was wearing my Channel boots, I hid in that damp, dusty and terribly dark closet because you needed to get the Sleep **OUT OF YOU SYSTEM?!?!**"

"Yes!"

"...Oh!"

"And Ginny dear, that wasn't a closet."

"Then what was it?...Wait, on second thought, don't tell me!"

"Good cause I have a feeling you wouldn't like it very much."

"Oh grea-"

"Ah...here she is!"

"Draco, dear your home!"

"'Ello Captain Merlin's Pants!"

"Ah Red, you look...scared? Did you go into the dungeons?"

"No, your **WIFE**...decided that the best way to wake herself up was to scare the cra-"

"I think he gets the point. Oh William sorry, I must seem so rude, would you like a cup of tea..."

"...I'd like....cup...something stronger..."

"Zabini, I'm **WARNING** you!!"

"Yeesh!"

"...ah...No it's alright Mrs Malfoy, I was just about to go back and look after the office. Thank you for your hospitality, it was nice seeing you again Mrs Zabini and don't worry about the office Captain...err...I mean Mr Captain...I mean Captain Malfoy...no, No, NO! What I meant was-"

"It's okay Will you can just go now."

"Yes Mr Malfoy...Good bye! **MALFOY INTERPRISE!**"

"...haha...hehe...Haha...Hehe...**HAHAHAHAHA!!** That boy is so funny, hehe, did you hear his hehe, voice at the end? Any, haha, higher and he would have, hehe, cracked the windows!!"

"Ginny! That's not very nice!"

"Sorry Mione but that was hilarious!"

"I got agree with you on that Red, by the way, where is your husband? He was supposed to go get us all lunch-"

"..."

"..."

"...Darling, not that I mind or anything but, why on earth are you still in pyjamas at one in the afternoon?"

"I just woke...didn't she just explain to you why she looks like a ghost?"

"I thought, **GOV'NOR'**-"

"Oh so that's what you call her!!"

"Not that name again!"

"-that you two were just pulling mine and William's legs with that!"

"Nope! I'm afraid Captain that, Gov'nor', as you call her is evil! Evil I tell you...**EVIL!!**"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Wow, you were in a whole other zone then, weren't you?"

"...Yea, I kinda was, so...are you two still planning on having lunch with us?"

"Pfft...like I'd skip on a chance to embarrass you in front of your hubby Red!!"

"_Pfft_...like **I'D** skip out on a chance to embarrass you in front of your **WIFE**, Captain!!"

"...Okay then, while you two argue like the four year olds you both are-"

"**FIVE!!**"

"Five!"

"..."

"...Sorry Gov'- I mean Hermione!"

"Sorry hun!..."

"Its okay dear."

"..."

"..."

"Ew, get a room!!"

"Why would we need just one room when we can have the whole house?"

"..Oh I like the way you think, husband dearest!"

"...Mmmmm..."

"..Hehehehe..."

"Oh. Dear. Merlin's. Pants! My EYES THEY BURN!! This is worse than that time I caught Harry and Luna at it on their kitchen sink...and you two wonder why I bring my own food when we have dinner at their house!"

"...Red...mmmm...go away."

"No offense...mmmmm...Ginny!!"

"**FINE!!** I'll go find Blaise and have a little fun of our own!!"

"Well Captain? What room haven't we '_christened_' yet?"

"Hahaha!! Oh naughty, naughty Gov'nor!!"

"How about right here!!"

"Good idea!...mmmm..."

"...ohhh..."

"...ahhhh..."

"...mmm-"

"Hey guys I brought lunc-** BLOODY HELL!!**"

**AN:** The last in the Merlin's Pants & Gov'nor' stories. I thank you all for reading them. Poor Blaise and Ginny!


End file.
